Day 6: What Am I Most Afraid Of (Day 6 of 30 Day Blogging Challenge)

The first fear that comes to mind probably comes to mind for anyone who has started a family: I’m afraid of some freak accident or tragedy striking my family, and I outlive my husband and children. I don’t know what I would focus on to move past such an event. Losing one would be horrible. Losing all three would be unbearable.

If that one is too obvious, I’m also afraid of heights. I don’t like being up high and looking down. I get nervous driving over bridges. I won’t go bungee jumping or sky diving. I’ve never been on a helicopter or in an airplane. Even climbing the Statue of Liberty and looking down makes me dizzy.

If that one is too generalized, too many people share it, then I’ll share something really personal. Growing up, I was terrified of balloons.  The string hanging down would cause panic attacks for me. This affected me going to birthday parties as a kid, and it started affecting my children going to birthday parties as an adult. I received therapy for my phobia and it’s behind me now, but it affected me deeply for over two decades.

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I was intensely afraid of the car going off a bridge and me being trapped in the car and drowning. I was also afraid of being abducted by aliens and them taking the baby out of my belly and returning me without her. It’s important to note neither of these things were anything that I gave much thought to prior to becoming pregnant. I started carrying a hammer with me so I knew I could break the glass of a car window should I go off a bridge. I talked to a therapist about my fears of abduction. Once I gave birth, both of these fears subsided and neither have popped into my mind or given me any worries since.